Ironically Christmas doesn’t exist in our house, my sister is muslim and my parents are atheists so religion is largely at odds with a traditional Christmas, however due to innate familial traits to conform to tradition it has happened for many years mainly due to my grand parents (my sister has only been converted 4 years).
This makes the fact that i spend money and slave away at homemade presents every year even more bizarre, it makes me wonder why we feel the need to do Christmas? Is it peer pressure? Nonetheless we seem to fall for it every year despite saying “well we will try and keep it low-key next year” and yet we don’t.
As my dads birthday is christmas eve there is and always will be a party at christmas however it should be for him alone not sharing it with some other special day and i’m sure lots of people who have birthdays on christmas or new year feel the same.
Despite my rambling complaints, i have just spent today making different scented soaps, mixing essential oils and using the melt and pour goats milk soap as a base, i plan to pair them with a washcloth and some other homemade bathroom goods and possibly some truffles and biscuits handmade of course, the nicest thing about making presents is seeing the reaction of the people you are giving to and for me thats all I need to feel happy and satisfied that i’ve done well.
The mind boggles as to why we do what we do when Christmas comes along, the more horrifying thought is consumerism will take over as it has now already, perfect example being the introduction of “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” to the UK. All i ask is one question? Why? We were fine without them before and now we have reduced ourselves to an embarrassment on youtube for all to see, its one thing to say times are hard but they are even harder when you are spending money you haven’t got.
Anyway enough of my complaining, its been a whirlwind here over the past few weeks with my volunteering and new tattoos and all kinds of other stuff. Not to mention the annoyance of my internet and various other pieces of technology not being the most reliable but with various purchases and some rewiring i seem to be back on the road to working and hopefully ill get back into a better rhythm of posting again.
A random free writing post mainly due to the failing of my internet, so i used Pages for iOS to write this piece
Whilst its frustrating to have creativity hampered, we must remember there was a time before the internet!
Todays post is under the guise of “free-writing” i wanted to write, my internet failed losing my prompts page – answer write a piece “Offline” (gasp!). whilst it is easy to sit and curse about the lack of internet facilities we should always remember that there was a time before all of this technology and we managed perfectly well didn’t we? Its one thing to keep in touch but the situation we find ourselves in is far deeper, we are obsessed with sharing our lives and watching other people. Now im not saying that this is a bad thing i enjoy greatly the art of people watching but there is a certain Parade-esque style which has now been adopted subconsciously by us all. We post updates on our lives we wait avidly for people to comment on our thoughts/hopes/dreams/new outfit, and yet what does it achieve? we have self-affirmation via external influences but should we not be able to know that we are amazing and happy and pure without the need for someone else intervening? Please understand that i do not mean this is as criticism and it is a wonderful feeling knowing you are surrounded by people who love you and protect you but they are not there all the time so arguably that means that we should be more “emotionally self-sufficient” for want of a better phrase.
I should talk about the picture linked to this post…whilst i was waiting for the computer to decide if it was going to work i got my calligraphy set out and wrote a short message in my book, i was surprised to discover that when you take a picture with photo booth it turns the writing backwards????
Todays prompt By Hand for me is an interesting one, having an artist sister and many artistic friends i have only received a few handmade gifts interestingly (other than edible goodies which would not be long lasting). Continue reading “By Hand”
As the weather becomes shorter even the centre of town becomes more and more beautiful to me. The grey light makes everything more mysterious. Even the local park becomes a dew covered landscape, the mist making everything slightly blurred to the eye.
Despite this children and families come to picnic and play in the park. Among the fallen leaves, they jump around covering themselves in mud shouting obscenities – much to their parents disgust (it amazes me that such language comes from the mouth of babes)
Thinking about the things i have acquired today it inspires me think about the future and what it holds…I have a new notebook and diary for the next year, the library books i want are on order and the art supplies that i needed for the collaboration i’m doing have been bought. The new calligraphy set reminds me of happier times when i was younger.
I hope that next year will be the start of a new beginning unfortunately this is something i have been saying for some time and i am aware that the only one in control of my destiny is me, there is no time like the present…blah blah blah but my immunity to change is deep rooted.
I have myself for this thought and i know that it frustrates others who want to see me grow but my ability to shut people out is unnerving and yet i cant control it. The moment people get close i shut them out, i can only make mundane conversation about everyday life which is very sad as mundane conversation is not the only thing to talk about with others.
I know this is largely down to lack of confidence but for some reason i cant draw on my own power to rebuild it, i feel trapped almost.
I have joined a writing group, i’m in the process of rekindling old friendships with the ones who inspired me to be the person i used to be and want to be again…bubbly, confident and most importantly able to talk to people.
I want control back – the relaxed/vertical attitude doesn’t seem to work for me and clearly a balance must be found.
As i sit here watching the parents and children go by, i wonder whether any if them are jealous of my freedom to sit alone and to do as i please or can they say hand on heart that they are happy with their choices. The gig my dad and i went to last week was attended by an entire family…a brave thing to do on the parents part (expensive if nothing else) as being dragged to your parents choice of music is not normally popular with most teenagers, i wondered if it was due to lack of babysitter or if they felt their children should be educated musically, thinking about my parents taking me to concerts and gigs when i was little it also reminded me of taking my god daughter to her first festival aged 7; i feel its very important for developing your mind and your social skills to see live music and listen to music. Some become singers, some become the audience and some even become critics. To criticise can be difficult, the risk of offence can be a deterrent for some whereas others relish the thought of confrontation.
Confrontation is the bane of my life and has been for some long time, i cant stand it as i struggle to control my emotions at the best of times so to be put on the spot renders me incapable if speaking most of the time and frankly this must stop, its neither helpful nor productive in any way shape or form.
From now on and always i must do my best to be positive at all times and appreciate the gifts i have been given.
The past few weeks have not been the easiest time for me, and with the days getting shorter i am trying hard not to let the S.A.D kick in…whilst i am volunteering i dont actually have another job and i find it hard to go and make new friends, i know that most of this is my own hang up and i need to build the confidence myself to go and find new amazing people to join me on my journey, but i feel lost as to where to start. Its hardly a reason to join a dating site and as much as meeting people and interacting with people on the internet is great, i feel i should be getting out and about to meet people rather than staying at home, but where to start? i love going to the writing group i have joined even though i do feel guilty for not writing as much as everyone else (i know this is silly as it will come with time but my confidence levels are not the highest at the moment) this is not a cry for help but more of a conversation starter….how do you interact with new people? all suggestions and thoughts are of course welcome.
Since its been a while since i have interacted with my lovely fellow bloggers, i thought i would try and make it fully interactive, I am in the process of planning 2 new volunteer recruitment campaigns and would love to have a few peoples input on how they would best respond to being asked to volunteer.
I already had the idea of a coffee morning (not very imaginative i know) with the twist that it will be held in a gallery so hopefully we will draw in a different audience, I have been reading about www.helpfromhome.com which allows people to do bitesize volunteering as and when they have time, i like this idea as we are only asking for a small amount of time from our volunteers but i would love to know what you all think and if you have any different suggestions i would appreciate them.
Well the past week or so has been fairly eventful in a weird way…
A week ago today i went to the dentist as i had been summoned for a check up (unusual as i normally go once every couple of years) after x-rays and some poking around it was established that “shock horror” i needed a filling for me this was a bit of a blow as i have had nothing done to my teeth apart from wisdom teeth removal, so at the age of thirty as the receptionist put it “you’ve been very lucky up until now” (i agree with her although muttered knowing i will be presented with a large bill the following week for the cost of my luck) So onward home with the shame of the thought of a filling looming the following week.
By the weekend i had every intention of actually spending saturday writing although thats not quite how it transpired, i ended up going on an adventure to the Quantocks walking with my friend and her dog. I have posted pics of the woods we walked through and the pretty stream but unfortunately i couldnt get the lighting right for the pictures from the top of the hills, the light was just too unforgiving which is a complete shame as the view was totally beautiful…still i must take another opportunity to go and try again!!
After the success of the weekend i went to work in fairly high spirits having managed to sort out printing problem and produce a poster which my manager deemed “perfect” and the success continued when my colleague managed to persuade someone to sign up to volunteer as she was offering the poster to them for their shop so that was fantastic news, i am now in the process of arranging a recruitment event within Glastonbury so hopefully the Mencap Glastonbury group will have some new volunteers very shortly!!! It truly makes me feel good to know that i am helping and making a difference in the community.
So now we are a week on and my filling has been completed (hence the dribbling reference as for some reason having a filling was more difficult than having wisdom teeth out) Im sore and a little cranky but hopefully that will pass..the dentist was so pleased with his work he cant even see where he did the filling (not that anyone would want to look that carefully…mind you)
“Avalon, island to which Britain’s legendary king Arthur was conveyed for the healing of his wounds after his final battle. It is first mentioned in Geoffrey of Monmouth’sHistoria regum Britanniae (c. 1136), while the same author’s Vita Merlini (c. 1150) described it as “the island of apples [‘Insula pomorum’], called fortunate.” It was ruled by the enchantress Morgan le Fay and her eight sisters, all of them skilled in the healing arts.”
As you know Glastonbury is a place close to my heart having grown up and gone to school quite close to there, but it never fails to surprise and amaze whenever i go there. For many years i have wondered what the name Avalon means (for the life of me ive no idea what took me so long to look it up) however my curiosity peaked today and i remembered to check it on the internet once i got home (see above quote).
It was not entirely to my surprise that Avalon relates to the times of King Arthur as i learnt much about this from school and parents as a child and i have always been aware that the lay-lines which run through Glastonbury and the Tor have many healing properties and why in my opinion it is such a relaxing place even when its busy on halloween/last friday of half-term.
Although i had no idea of its connections with apples but i guess it would make perfect sense due to Somersets link with cider….
Of course no trip to Glastonbury is complete without a trip to the crystal man and a raiding of the 50p treasure box got some lovely ones although my friend managed to do even better….
After a trip to the charity shops and much success with both a scarf and a cardigan it was back home through various chaotic traffic jams.
In the interests of extending my photography skills i have picked a photo blogging challenge, as im off to France at the weekend it will give me a good opportunity to get some interesting pictures i hope!!! Phoneography Challenge here i come!!