Post A Day

Dither If You Must

To dither is to be indecisive, to be indecisive can be frustrating for everyone involved, it a fruitful task dithering and wasting precious time? Well no it probably isn’t lets face it, but why do we dither and why are we indecisive? Well there are a number of reasons which cause indecisiveness the most common of which is fear of failure, our innate desire to protect ourselves can often be our undoing, the ‘what if…?’ stops us from committing to whatever it is we are challenged with. Psychology Today use the example of “what do you want for dinner tonight?” a question apparently so loaded it can cause marital arguments, a fairly simple decision for most depending on if you eat at home more than you eat at a restaurant but somehow becomes a mountain of a decision when faced with the fact they choose something and the other person might not like it, failure? No if they don’t like it you can work out some kind of compromise, its hard for some to meet in the middle but its better to progress than stagnate.

Not having all the information can be a concern for some, making the decision harder, some relish the unpredictability of not knowing all the facts. Most people are happy to make an informed decision when presented with all the facts. They are reassured by the information that has been presented to them and there is no need to dither or be indecisive. Sure you should weigh up the pros and cons of each part but that shouldn’t send you into a spin, if it does write it down in two columns, taking each pro and con as it comes. This process does not have to be done with pen and paper you can visualise hypothetical lists, put each one into its relevant side and weigh them up, which do you prefer more, the reasons to or not to? It should be as simple as that right?

Decision making can be scary, big life changing decisions like buying houses, having babies or career changes. The fear of failure remains in the background a solid reminder of why you are unable to make a decision quickly and without all the facts. What you also lack is the confidence to know you are right, once the decision is made you own it – you cant drop it like its hot because you don’t like it and its gone wrong, we all have to accept failure in our lives, not everything goes the way we want it, if it did we wouldn’t learn anything. If you learn anything its often not to do it again!

So dither if you must but if you do be decisive.

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